Here’s Why It Feels Complicated: Why Strategy Alone Won’t Work Without Internal Transformation

Favorite author in the areas of personal development and/or biz strategy?

I’ve probably read at least one of their books.

Favorite course or program in the same areas?

I’ve probably taken it, or one very similar.

From books, to courses, to memberships and everything in between, I used to consume at an almost frantic pace. I’ve described that pattern as “searching." A pretty good (and for me, timely) comparison is a baby looking for momma to nurse or the bottle when they’re hungry. You know how, as soon as they see it, their little mouth pops open and they lunge toward it, and then they just continue bobbing around with their mouth wide open, frantically trying to get what they’re after?

That’s how I used to consume personal development and biz strategy. I always felt behind, like I should already know the info contained within, and the info in each book or program was always going to be THE thing that unlocked the door I wanted to open. That book/course/program/membership was going to be THE thing I needed to create the freedom and the lifestyle I craved. 

But then what happened? You know this story, right? By the time I’d completed the course or read the book, I ended up with more questions than answers, and a list of 10+ more books/courses I “needed” to read/take. Cue the searching. More frantic consumption. The more I knew, the more I understood about what I didn’t know, and the more I felt I felt incapable and unworthy. More searching. More frantic consumption.

WHY DID EVERYTHING FEEL SO DAMN COMPLICATED!?!

I have good news for you, if you’re a fellow searcher. I can tell you why it feels so confusing. It feels confusing because there are infinite conflicting messages available about how to reach your goal. From gurus, to strategists, to coaches, to authors, speakers, and pro athletes – what do almost all of their strategies have in common?

They’re for sale. And they want you to buy them. And the truth is, some of them suck, and, most of them don’t. Most of the strategies and solutions for sales CAN work. But the reason they don’t produce results for YOU, is because of who you BE when you carry their strategies out.  

The reason the 2,307,438,957,439 books I read, and the 987,544 programs and courses I took didn’t help me get the results I wanted is because after everything I’d learned, I was still the same frantically searching person coming out as I was when I went in. More info and more strategy didn't help me feel capable and worthy...the exact opposite happened, actually. More info + another strategy = more overwhelmed + more incapable and unworthy. That was my pattern, on repeat. 

Yes, many of the books/programs TOLD me I had to, “be willing to do the work,” or that I needed to explore my beliefs and programming. Many of them did allude to the fact that who I was being mattered…but then that was it.

As a dedicated student of personal development, for years I’d been practicing many of the mindset tips and strategies I’d learned, and mindset work did serve, but only to a point. I was SO willing to, ”do the work,” whatever that meant, but I didn’t have a damn clue how. What I could figure out was how to do was all the practical stuff:

• Build the website
• Create the account
• Take the course
• Get the license
• Sign up for the “opportunity”

Whatever the practical step was, I could figure that out. So I busied myself with lots, and lots, and LOTS of that. But none of it moved the needle, none of it helped me feel UNstuck and create the results I wanted, because of who I was BEING; Because of how I was showing up to carry the strategies out. Because of the energy I lived in and exuded. My deeply held beliefs. My limiting self-image. My unconscious programming. What I believed I was worthy and capable of. That stuff.

Question: What do you do when you reach the stuck point, when you’re going for a goal?

Answer: The same damn thing, over, and over, and over again, until you change who you BE. Until you transform from the inside out, you’ll continue to play out the same patterns, programs, and sabotaging behaviors, regardless of the system, strategy, or program you’re executing, or the goal you’re going after.

The solution for me was coaching (aka life coaching, aka personal coaching). Until I found coaching, I wasn’t able to create transformation. I could carry out new strategies, but my results were always capped at about the same level. And regardless of my results, I could never seem to change the way I felt, especially about myself. Just more overwhelm, and more unworthiness. 

I wasn’t able to tap into the emotions, energy, and unconscious beliefs that lived within me, limiting me and keeping me stuck playing out the same patterns on repeat. Partially because they were unchartered waters for me and I didn’t know how to steer into them to access them, but also because it’s hard to have a conversation with yourself that allows you to see things from a new prospective. Your prospective, the lens through which you see the world, is what shapes your thoughts, beliefs, habits, decisions. That lens is what feels like “right” to you. And without the ability to widen that lens, or swap it out for a different one altogether, how do you create any real change?

For me, the answer was that I didn’t. For me, coaching changed all of that, and finally allowed me to go to work on who I BE. 

I’m a YES to strategies and systems and solutions for sale. I’m a YES to great business or fitness or ______ coaches that will provide the strategy, help you carry it out, and mentor you along the way. Yes, yes, yes! Some of them are really good, and may just create the mega results they suggest. DO sign up, if it looks exciting, or lifechanging, or cutting edge, or timeless and perfect for you. DO read the book if it’s interesting, engaging, and an enjoyable use of your precious time. Yes!

BUT, if you’ve already tried what feels like everything else and aren’t getting the results you crave, if you’re not getting any traction no matter what you do, it’s not about the strategy. You don’t need more strategy, you need to change who you BE first. 

It’s not about the strategy. It’s about who you be when you carry the strategy out.

Thoughts? Shoot me a DM on IG - @alirspicer.