You Don't Have to Settle: Creating Big Income, Big Impact, *and* a Balanced Life

Truthfully, what I remember most about becoming a "career mom," an ambitious career woman who now had a baby? Overwhelm. Based on what I'd heard from the world around me, I expected our new life to just start flowing as long as we were willing to make some changes and adapt. That’s how it seemed to work for EVERYONE else, no?

For me, how it worked was: overwhelm. Our baby wasn’t healthy. Nick was always gone (career travel) and I was all alone. Except for my always-crying baby. I slept like 15 minutes in those first 3 months and it was time to go back to work. Overwhelm. 

I was so overwhelmed that I started to feel desperate; Desperate for it all to even out and start flowing (like I mistakenly thought it did for everyone else). My ambitious life got HARD. So, so hard. I was desperate for answers and solutions, and I didn't know what to do, so I started asking for advice from a lot of women around me. The only qualification was having had a baby. I asked, they answered, and in my combo state of overwhelmed + desperate, I started doing pretty much everything they told me I should do. Most common among that list of “shoulds?”

Stop being so ambitious. You need to scale back your goals + dreams, and change your vision to match "reality." 

They said my vision of what I wanted my life to be like – big impact, big income, and big family –  wasn’t possible, that it "wasn't realistic." They said my ambition was my problem. They said it was time to give up my vision, stop reaching so high, and starting being "more realistic." 

Ok...

In the weeks and months that followed, among other things, I gave up my career and tired to become the woman (and mom) they said I "should" be. And then life felt great, right?! 

Do I need to tell you the answer was a resounding NO? 

There will always be plenty of people willing to tell you, with certainty and perhaps even some condemnation, how to live the best life. The problem? They’re talking about THEIR LIFE. They’re giving you the advice that would best serve THEM, they advice they wish THEY had, and that's not necessarily what will best serve YOU. 

If you want to build your dreams -- and specifically, create the income + ambitious BOTH/AND lifestyle you're dreaming about -- you have to stop taking advice from anyone who doesn’t have what you want. 

You've got to stop forming beliefs + making decisions based on the opinions of those who haven't created what you want to create.

You've got to let go of seeking council from the (probably amazing) humans in your life (who probably love you dearly) who aren't capable of providing the guidance you're asking them to give.

ESPECIALLY when things get hard. 

I’m willing to bet that you have lots of people in your life that truly and deeply love you, who want nothing more than for you to be happy, that have no damn clue how build the kind of life you dream of having. No matter how much someone loves you, they can’t help you get where you’re trying to go if they've never been there, don’t know how to get there themselves, and especially if they don't believe it's possible to get where you're trying to go. 

Here's the truth: believing you can make a big impact + a big income, while you serve and love your family isn’t the norm. Most women don’t believe it’s possible for them, so they won’t believe it’s possible for you. If they’ve not created a life like the one you’re trying to create, you have different journeys; different paths that require different maps. Her map doesn’t look the same as yours. You can’t use a map of Chicago to find your way around Phoenix. Both maps are “correct,” but they won’t both take you where YOU want to go. Do you see that? 

And here's what I want to make clear about this: it's not their job to stop offering you directions + advice, it's your job to stop asking for it, believing it, and acting on.

The life + results you feel called to create are 100% available to you. Yes, your dream is one of your available options. But you’ll never be able to find the trailhead to YOUR unique path to creating it as long as you’re taking directions from those who can't see it, or don’t believe the path you want to find exists.

In case I’m not being clear enough: your dream is possible IF and only IF you believe it is, and everyone else’s opinion about your dream and plan is none of your damn business anyway. 

Be bold, believe in your vision, and the right mentors. Journey on, friend. See you on the trail!

Thoughts, opinions, or questions? DM me on IG: @alirspicer