The Sneaky Way You’re Draining Your Energy and Killing Productivity (And How to Stop It)

Feel like you need three naps and a 3-month vacation by 8:00 PM every night?

Trying to figure out how to enthusiastically show up, each day, in your career, your home, your marriage, your social relationships, the gym – have I missed any? – without feeling like the pace is unsustainable?

If you’re feeling like you can’t joyfully keep up with the pace of your life, you need to stop. Not slow down, STOP. Recharge. THEN, you may go again. 

Truth: The most productive and effective people take breaks. A lot of them. They’re not superhumans who can work longer and harder than you can, they’re recharging their batteries more fully, and more often. 

Listen, really hear this, because it’s so important, and SO misunderstood!   

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the pace and demands of your life, you don’t just need to learn how to more effectively get things done. You need to learn how to more effectively REST. 

It took me a REALLY long time to learn this lesson, and I say this to you today as an epic work in progress on this front. Once, on what should have been an epic post-holidays winter vacation, I spent so much of the trip trying to continue working, producing, and managing LIFE that I had a massive breakdown on the trip. (In hindsight, I think lugging a computer, printer, and extra ink cartridges in my carry-on bag could have been a sign of what was to come… 😏)

I was consumed in a full-on ugly cry, shaking shoulders, with “I can’t do this anymore,” sobs, when we were supposed to be walking out the door to a 18 person dinner, with (among many) my cousin, who was proposing to his beautiful girlfriend as I sobbed. Not ideal.

I managed to get the glue on my fake lashes to stop dissolving long enough to get my ass out the door and onto what I vowed was going to be a TRUE VACATION for the rest of that trip. But the lesson hung with me after I got back, and although I’d like to say it was the dreamy experience I’d been pining for, I think I gained something even more valuable in the process.

My “vacation” showed me that I was willing to show up for everyone and everything except myself. It showed me the huge tole that was taking on my wellbeing, my energy levels, and my happiness. It showed me that if I continued to neglect myself, pretty soon I wasn’t going to be able to show up AT ALL. If I didn’t start taking care of me – body, mind and soul – I wasn’t going to be able to take care of anyone else, or anything else, either.

“I can’t do this anymore…”

That’s what I said. And I meant it. I had to change.

Why is it that when it comes to PHYSICAL exhaustion, we can clearly understand the need to rest and recharge, but MENTAL exhaustion is overlooked entirely? Why are we willing to put almost ANYTHING on our to-do list BESIDES dedicated time to relax, rejuvenate, and recharge?

Why does every other to-do rank higher on the priority list than resting and recharging? 🤔

“If I’m physically capable of putting one foot in front the other, no break is needed here! Taking a day off?! That’s for the weak! I’m tougher than that!”

Think of it like this:

Physical rest is like gasoline. Fill up with physical rest and your vehicle (you) will have the ability to go fast and far.

Mental rest is like oil. Fill up with mental rest and your vehicle (you) will have the ability to go fast and far WITHOUT BREAKING DOWN.

Gasoline is only one of the necessary components. Without oil, too, your engine will eventually get too hot and BLOWWW (AKA epic burnout, AKA ugly cry on vacay). You need both gasoline (physical energy) and oil (mental maintenance) to perform your best…or rather, to keep performing at all.

Does this make sense?

We readily acknowledge the need for physical rest (gas in the tank), but we fail to acknowledge the need for mental rest and relaxation (vehicle maintenance). Without BOTH, you’re destined to breakdown (burn out).

Step 1: Stop for gas
Get 7+ hours of rest each night (lol 7 is NOT enough for me, I need 8-9 to feel human). If you’re not doing that, start there. Getting enough sleep trumps all others to-dos, so get real about how you’re going to schedule this into your life, every night. 

Step 2: Preform regular maintenance
How regular? This isn’t a science and we’re all a little different, but a good starting point is to allow one day/week where you’re not working, in your home or in your career. I know that’s a tall order (trust me, I know!), but you need to start thinking about the cost of NOT taking care of yourself; body, mind and soul. There is a massive cost for self-neglect!

What are some things you can do to mentally recharge?

Here are 8 ideas:

1. Meditate
   This doesn’t have to be fancy. Sit in a quiet room, where you won’t be interrupted, and just get quiet, both externally AND internally. When you’re ready to learn more about meditating there are 438957349853 resources available for free. But if you’re just getting started, all you need to do is get still, quiet and uninterrupted!
2. Journal
   Get a pen and a notebook, sit down, and just write what’s on your mind! Answers and insights you didn’t know were inside you will flow out onto the page! You can also Google “journal prompts” for some inspo.
3. Simply relax!
   Play with your babies! Laugh with your partner! Walk the dogs! Let the laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping wait, and spend a day watching TV, reading magazines, or catching up with your friends. Do you even know what you’d do with a full day where you weren’t allowed to work?
4. Girls Day or Night Out!
5. Spa
   This is one of my personal favorites! A day at the spa looks, sounds, and feels relaxing; it’s so lifegiving! And even if you don’t have a great spa to go for a day, just book a 60- or 90-minute massage.
6. Go shopping or out to eat solo
7. Weekend away  
   I cannot overstate the benefits of this! This practice has literally changed my life. Check into a hotel all by yourself, and spend a day (more, if possible!) relaxing, remembering what you liked to do when it was up to you, and answering to no one. Order room service, hit the hot tub, and/or check out the bar. No rules.
8. Vacation
   Solo, adults only, or family vacay, whatever your heart craves. No work and all play! 💃

Like I said, it’s not a science, it’s an art. I’d love to hear how you practice the art of taking care of YOU, and making sure to recharge on the regular!? Shoot me a DM - @alirspicer - and tell me what works for you!

Give yourself permission to walk the ambitious career mom path with love and strength, AND self-care and boundaries. A whole new level of energy and creativity lives on the other side!