WTF is Coaching? How it Transforms Your Life and Unlocks Your Potential

“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.”
-Eckhart Tolle

I’ve talked a lot about “my coaching journey” in the past few years, both giving and receiving coaching.  Wondering WTF I’m talking about?

The reason I suspect you might be wondering WTF is coaching is because despite being fully into personal development for a decade +, I didn't know what it was about, or really, that it even existed! When I hired my first coach I def did NOT set out to hire one. I didn’t have any idea I could hire someone to help me reach my goals. Like, what..?

I saw the woman that would become my first coach speak on stage at an event. I was inspired by her message, and I felt that familiar energy stir inside me, guiding me to connect with her. You know how people ask, “If you could do anything in the whole wide world for a living that you loved so much you’d do it for free, what would it be?” For me that thing is helping people define, own and reach their goals and dreams. That’s my vibe.

She didn’t leave the stage giving us a way to find her (she wasn't looking for clients), so I tracked her down on social media and sent her a message asking if she’d be willing to have coffee with me and tell me more about coaching. Instead of agreeing to an hour of time over coffee and sending me on my merry way, to probably return right back to where I started, she responded with something that changed my life. She said something like, “The best way I could explain to you what coaching is all about is to coach you.”

I hired her for 10 sessions, and of course all financial figures are relative, but it’s fair to say that at the time it is was a big investment for me. Not, “Holy shit, I’m insane,” but def, “OMG, WTF am I doing?” I told her I wanted help building a life where I spent my time helping other people reach their goals and dreams.

And here. I. AM.  I’m 4^th and goal from completing my Mastery Coaching certification program, giving and receiving coaching weekly, and the most fulfilled, purposeful and on fire that I’ve ever been in my life. YES, FREAKIN PLEASE.

I share that story to say – when I hired the first coach that changed the trajectory of my life, I had no idea what a life coach (personal coach or coach -- I use those all interchangeably) was, or that I could have been looking for one to hire. I didn’t know it was an option to hire someone to help me reach my goals, clear up until I reached out to her, still not getting it.

I did know there were business coaches, but I wasn’t looking for just business strategy, or even mindset. First of all, I’d already taken so.many.programs, and read so.many.books. I HAD strategy (OMG, I had so.much.strategy!), and I had a solid mindset game, too.

What I needed to reach my goals wasn’t more strategy, or more mindset work (though you can always improve both). I knew in my gut that what I needed was deeper. I knew I needed to change who I BE, how I showed up in life, and I had no idea how to do that. That’s what coaching was for me. And prior to the moment I had hired a coach, I had no clue a professional existed that could help me do that.

WTF is personal coaching / life coaching? And who is it for?

A technical definition:

Coaching is a thought-provoking and creative process between coach and client that inspires the client to maximize personal and professional potential. It is designed to facilitate the creation of…goals and to develop and carry out a strategy/plan for achieving those goals.

There are all kinds of coaches, because there are all kinds of goals – business, profession-specific, relationship (marriage, parent/kid, etc.), health and wellness, and life (the ones who help you change who you be), to name the most common.

Like any profession, not all coaches are created equal. There are varying levels of talent, skill, experience, training, ethics and professionalism. There are different styles and methodologies. Just like with doctors, Realtors and personal trainers, and the most important thing is finding one that feels like a good fit for YOU.

A good coach will support you in removing the things that are actually holding you back; Often not what you think, and not what’s, “on the surface.” They will help you wake up to your unconscious limiting programming, and then create new programming that supports you in creating what you desire.

Who is coaching for? Generally speaking, someone who wants professional support reaching their goals, intentions, or dreams, and is willing to invest in achieving those results. 

COACHING VS. OTHER PROFESSIONS

Professional coaching is a distinct way of working with people that focuses on an individual's life as it relates to goal setting, creating specific outcomes, and personal change. In an effort to understand what coaching is, it can be helpful to distinguish coaching from other similar professions and services. Here are some professions similar to coaching, and how they differ, shared by my mentor, Alyssa Nobriga (Institute for Coaching Mastery). 

THERAPY

The focus of therapy is often on solving problems and difficulties from the past, which now interfere with an individual's functioning in their current life. Therapy deals with healing pain, dysfunction, and conflict within an individual or relationship, and the outcomes often include improved emotional/feeling states. While positive feelings/emotions may be an outcome of coaching, the primary focus of coaching is on action, accountability and follow-through. 

Where therapy is (or, can be) necessary, past-focused, and healing-based, coaching is elective, future-focused, and performance-based.  

CONSULTING

Individuals (or organizations / groups) often hire consultants to access specialized expertise within a specific area. While consulting approaches vary, there is an assumption that the consultant has specific knowledge and solutions that they can share to support the goals of the individual (or group). This differs from coaching as coaches empower individuals (or groups) to create their own solutions and grow their capabilities to achieve a result. Because of this, the coach does not necessarily need to have expertise in a specific area to coach their client around it. 

Note: some programs called “coaching programs” include consulting, such as a business program that included analysis and implementation of biz strategy.  

TRAINING

Training programs are based on acquiring certain learning objectives set out by the trainer or instructor. Training programs have a pre-established learning path and curriculum. Although objectives are created in the coaching process, coaching generally does not have a pre-set curriculum and is often customized to client’s specific goals and intentions. 

Note: some programs called “coaching programs” include training, such as a fitness program that includes nutrition or exercise specific routines to achieve a certain result (weight loss, muscle building, etc.).  

ATHLETIC DEVELOPMENT (SPORTS COACHING)

The athletic coach is an expert who guides and directs the behavior of individuals or teams as it relates to athletic pursuits. Athletic coaching generally guides individuals or groups toward a common goal of winning a game or performance, as defined by the sport / endeavor, where as professional coaching generally guides individuals or groups toward their own unique goal(s) and personally defined targets (i.e. What is "success?"). 

Even before I knew what coaching was I felt made for it.

I guess that’s how finding your place in life can work, if you’re willing to just keep moving forward and trust what’s inside you – your gut, your passions, your knowings, your gifts. Everything feels possible now, where as before, I believed it was possible in my head, but what I felt was frustrated, exhausted and confused. If my dreams were possible, where was I going so wrong? Coaching helped me answer that question, and so, so much more.  

I believe my dreams are possible and I believe yours are, too. Your invitation is to trust them, to own them, and to step into them. Lean IN. Still have questions? Send them my way on IG - @alirspicer.

Want more insight on coaching? Check out Alyssa's coaching manifesto. 🤍