3 Strategies to Strengthen Your Marriage as a Super-Scheduled Working Mom

By “drift,” I mean we feel and act less connected. We think less about the other’s needs, we argue a bit more, and we find ourselves on different pages of the same book (topic).

There is less of an intimate husband and wife dynamic, and more of a strategic, teamwork focused dynamic. We can do teamwork without too much fostering, but the intimacy in our marriage doesn’t just 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 for us if we don’t 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 at it, on a consistent basis.

Career moms have SO much going on, and SO many balls in the air. You can remain distracted every minute of every day if you allow it. There are “shiny objects” everywhere you look, another “important” thing to take your mind off the things (and relationships) that matter most.

If career moms don’t actively pursue a strong marriage, and literally schedule time to build that imitate marriage dynamic, it will NOT build itself! 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐄!

But 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛 do you schedule?

𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝟑 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐄 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

--𝗪𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

“Check in and Chill” meetings once/week. We “check-in,” by taking turns answering the following:

+Review the upcoming week’s schedule – What do you need from me?

+On a scale of 1-10, how was your last week?

+What’s going well?

+What needs changed?

+Peer review: Where do you see me doing well, and where do you see that needs improvement?

+What steps are you taking to move you closer to your goals this week?

Then, we “chill.” We just hang out & watch TV. We always pick a new series when the old one is over, and it’s created a fun bond over the show-of-the-moment.

--𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

I’ve heard of plenty of people that schedule a date once/week, and if that makes sense for you, that’s awesome! For us, once/month makes a heap more sense, and is more effective. (For us, once/month is a treat. Once/week is so much of a challenge it becomes a chore.) We get the kids a sitter, and go somewhere – JUST THE TWO OF US. We’re social people and love to go with friends, but once/month it’s all about some time for JUST us.

--𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

We LOVE family vacation, and we LOVE vacation with friends/family! But both of those are 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 than the vacations we take that are just the two of us. Make memories together like you used to do when you were first dating! See new places and new faces. Spend time relaxing, ALONE, just the two of you. T-A-L-K! Connect.

What are your best relationship tips for highly scheduled, dual-career families?