Winning in *all* the ways that matter to you

On the way home from a road trip with the fam, my husband and I got into one of those conversations you only really have space for when you’ve got 400 miles of nothing but cows and sagebrush to stare at. (Don’t worry—I won’t rehash the whole thing. 😅)

We started talking about where we’re at in life, where we’re feeling called, and where we’re craving more (or less).

We agreed—life is good. Honestly, it feels better than it’s ever felt for both of us.

Over the past few years, I’ve done the deep inner work it takes to rewire how you think, how you show up, and how you move through the world—and simply said, it’s paying off. BIG time. Life feels better than I ever imagined it could for an ambitious, goal-setting, hard-charging woman like me. I’m wildly grateful for that.

And Nick’s doing his work too—bumping up against his own internal edges and doing the work to grow in the ways that really matter to him.

But even with all that—we also agreed—we feel a little stagnant. Like we’ve been working hard, pouring into the things that matter most to us, living in alignment with what we value… but the momentum toward our big-picture vision has been slow, especially considering how much effort we’ve been putting in.

As we kept talking it through, something started to click. Actually—it was one of those lightbulb moments where you suddenly just get something. You know what I mean? When you can finally zoom out, and something that used to feel blurry suddenly becomes clear?

It was one of those moments for me. I started taking notes right there in the car like the nerd that I am—lol—because I knew I had to share it with you.

If you’re doing all the right things but still feeling stuck—if you’re craving more but can’t figure out how to actually make it your reality—this is a must-read.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. First, the big insight:

We’ve been trying to live by one model of success—and build results with another—and it's slowing us down.

Let me explain.

2 models to create success + level up

Model 1 is what the world teaches. You pick an area of life—often career or income, but really, whatever goal you want to chase right now—and you go all in. You work hard. You stay focused. You hustle. You say no to anything that doesn’t directly move that one goal forward. You push until you get results.

And even if you don’t say it out loud, the unspoken agreement is: if the rest of life suffers a little, that’s just the cost of success.

It’s the model that says, “Do whatever you have to do to get results, and fulfillment will follow.”

Except—one problem: it doesn’t.

Maybe you already know that. Maybe you’ve grown past the success-at-all-costs mentality. That’s definitely us too. We’re totally clear: we’re not willing to sacrifice who and what matters most to us just to hit some external milestones like more money or success.

That’s a good step. But here’s what might be happening without you even realizing it:

You can see that Model 1 will cost you too much. You’ve lived it—you’ve sacrificed parts of yourself before in the name of a goal, and you remember how that felt. So now, you’re not willing to sideline your values, your health, your peace, or your people to pursue a goal. So you’re not really going after what you want, because you think Model 1 is the only way to get there.

You know you want more, but you stay stuck, because you’re convinced that getting there will cost you too much.

But what if that’s not true? What if there’s another model—one that lets you honor your values and go after the life you want?

There is.

Model 2 is the road less traveled. It feels better, it’s more fun, and most of all—it works better. It’s the most effective path. But most people don’t know about it—and of the few who do, most don’t fully understand it, or struggle to go all in. That was us.

We knew Model 1 wasn’t for us. We were totally clear on that. But I hadn’t fully seen Model 2 as an option—as its own unique path that we could choose, or understood why we weren’t choosing it—until that conversation on the drive. That’s when the whole picture came into focus.

Model 2 isn’t about picking one area of life to chase success—it’s about fully stepping into your next level in every area, and trusting that doing so will take you exactly where you’re meant to go. It means doing the internal work that allows you to show up powerfully and intentionally for your goals and dreams—and trusting that what comes out of that process will create not just success, but also a life that feels as good as it looks.

Model 2 requires surrendering control (yeah… yikes, I know 😅), and saying yes to whatever part of life is pulling you forward or calling out to you, and trusting that honoring that pull is exactly what will create the success you want—even when you can’t logically connect the dots yet.

IRL, that might look like:
• Coaching your kid’s team
• Starting the Bible study
• Prioritizing rest
• Taking the vacation
• Saying YES to something that lights you up, even though you feel like there’s no time for it

Not because those things directly make you money, grow your career, or instantly hand you your next big win in the moment—but because they create alignment, and alignment creates momentum.

It’s a complete reversal of how most people pursue goals or try to create success, because it requires surrender instead of control.

And that’s exactly why you can’t blend the models. You have to choose your model. You can’t go halfway in with both. You can’t steal second with a foot on first. That was the mistake we were making.

We were living parts of Model 2—refusing to compromise our values and how we show up with and for our kids, with each other, and with our health. But we were still trying to create success in some areas using Model 1—going hard in specific areas and frantically trying to control everyone and everything to produce the exact outcomes we wanted.

We were saying no to expansion in other parts of life so we could double down on those specific results. We were trying to control every outcome by being halfway in with both models. Yes, living by Model 2 values, but still trying to force results through Model 1 methods. Yeah, it felt better than running on pure Model 1, but it was still inefficient, because it didn’t give us the momentum (or energy… or TIME!) we needed to create the wins we really wanted—in either model.

To be totally clear—Model 1 does work

You can get results that way. But it assumes something big: that fulfillment, purpose, and peace will just show up after you hit the external goals you’re chasing. It assumes fulfillment follows success.

It doesn’t.

But you kind of know that, right? 

So did we—which is exactly why we were trying to blend the models… making ourselves ineffective with both.

If you want to feel powerful, purposeful, and free—inside and out—you have to build that intentionally. And that starts with choosing the model you’re going to use to build your success (AKA: your life). If you want it to feel as good as it looks, you’ve got to choose the (only) model that supports success both inside and out.

So why don’t we all just choose Model 2?

We’ve already hit on the biggest reason: surrendering control is HARD. Trusting that it will work—when you can’t see it working yet—is hard. We want guarantees, and we want them now. And Model 2 isn’t a guaranteed, right-now quick fix. It’s not a 5-day sprint or a “just manifest it” moment. It’s deeper than that. It’s a bigger shift than that.

Model 2 requires you to do the internal work first—to clear out the patterns and programming that have been quietly calling the shots behind the scenes, keeping you small and stuck—and to trust that the results you want will follow. It requires you to step into alignment before you strategize and strive.

It takes trust. It takes patience. Instead of hustling for a quick win, you put in the work to build a foundation that can hold the life you actually want—one that looks good on the outside and feels good on the inside. And when the external results do come, they’re sustainable—for as long as you want them around. They don’t require struggling or suffering to maintain.

Model 2 is the only path to a life that feels as good as it looks, but it requires a different kind of strength—one that most people simply aren’t willing to develop.

This isn’t just my theory

Although it was a road-trip lightbulb moment for me, this isn’t just Ali’s Special Theory on Success. 😛 There’s a lot of research and science behind it. One of the most validated models in psychology says people are most successful when their life is aligned, not hyper-focused and fragmented. Your brain works better when your actions match your values (cognitive coherence). And peak performance research backs it up too. People don’t hit peak performance by grinding in one area, they do it when challenge, purpose, and values all line up. Which is what happens when you go all in with Model 2.

What does this mean for you, IRL?

Shifting from a Model 1 method of creating success to a Model 2 method doesn’t mean abandoning your ambitious side. It doesn’t mean giving up your desire to earn more or achieve more. That was one of the things that held me back (and kept me away from “internal work”) for a long time. I thought doing internal work (or working with a life coach) meant “fixing” or “healing” the parts of me that were super ambitious and wanted more—like drive and ambition were flaws that needed to be fixed.

They’re not.

Your ambition and drive are gifts!

The problem isn’t ambition. The problem is trying to fulfill ambition through a model that can’t give you what you actually want—an external win and the internal feeling of purpose, power, or peace you thought would come with it.

Model 1 was built to deliver external success the quickest way possible—but at best, it does it without the internal success you were really craving, and at worst, it costs you the very things you thought success would give you. Fulfillment. Joy. Peace. Purpose. Freedom.

One doesn’t have to come at the expense of the other.

There is another way

If you’re sitting there thinking “OMG—yes. This is what I’ve been feeling but couldn’t explain…” I’ve got something coming you’re going to love!

It’s a quiz that’s going to help you figure out what internal pattern has been keeping you small, stuck and unfulfilled—and how to break free from it. It’s not another personality quiz (those are rad too, though). It’s an identity-level mirror that will help you finally see and name what’s going on under the surface, and what’s holding you back from what you want most, but can’t seem to go for or bring to life.

I’m putting the final touches on it now, and it’ll be ready soon! If you want early access, subscribe below and I’ll send it straight to your inbox the second it drops.

My brand of coaching isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about creating success, inside and out. It’s about winning, friend—winning in all the ways that matter to you.

If that's what you want, stick around. I can’t freaking wait to watch you win. 💛