What Balance Isn’t — And How to Redefine It for Your Life

I was reading a book recently by a famous brand creator/company founder (I really enjoyed the book!), and I got to a chapter titled something like “Balance is a lie.” Since balance is such an important part of what I teach, live, and BE, I am always intrigued by the different points of view on the topic.

I was disappointment to "hear," as a read, that her opinion is that "balance is a lie." I hate hearing this (very popular) sentiment, because I believe preaching that balance isn’t real is telling other women...

A.) If they have big ambitions (and want a life of BOTH), no matter what they do they’re going to be and feel depleted anyway. 

&

B.) You may as well keep killing yourself, because there’s no version of life where you'll feel grounded, healthy, or BALANCED anyway. 

I was disappointed, that is, until I read what her version of balance was.

She was equating balance to perfection. Um…what?

Balance as perfection? As if! Are there a lot of woman out there equating balance to perfection?? Maybe you??

In that moment, it became so incredibly important to me to make it clear what I do – and do not – mean, when I write, speak, teach and promote BALANCE. 

What it isn't

Balance isn’t “doing it all.”

Balance isn’t perfection.

Balance isn’t about an always clean home and fit body and perfectly mannered children. 

Balance isn’t demanding of yourself that every area of life be equal at all times.   

What it is

Balance | noun | an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

Upright and steady. Yes! 

Balance is about supporting your priorities and your people, without neglecting yourself.

Balance is about feeling grounded and healthy on your journey toward your ambitions.

Balance is about pursing what feels meaningful, striving for and achieving those aims, without compromising your values.

BALANCE as just another thing to achieve – or worse, balance as perfection – will drain your soul. Don’t give balance a meaning that leaves you feeling inadequate. You have that choice. That is within your control. 

Believing in balance means knowing that something will always have to give, and empowering yourself to choose what that something is before you feel broken, confused, and hopeless.

Balance includes both great effort and great rest, stepping up and stepping back, and honoring the inner-guidance that tells you when to do each.

Balance looks like giving yourself permission to know that you are enough as you are and that you can have / do / and be anything you desire.    

Balance looks like giving yourself permission to set and pursue huge goals and to do life in a way that doesn’t drain your soul.

Balance isn’t about perfection in all areas of life. Balance is about LIVING in all areas of life!

Do life, do all the life you dream of doing. Strive. Play. Rest. Allow it to feel good. Give yourself permission to believe it gets to be every bit as good as you hoped, and maybe better. Know it’s possible to have, do and be what you dream without draining the life force out of yourself on your journey.  

That’s balance, friend.